Have the fear of failure?

Looking back, my fear of failure was pretty evident. Alright, so what are the classic signs that individuals are High-FFs (as I call people with a higher fear of failure in What's Stopping You?)- both as a child as well as an adult? Here are a couple - some from personal experience, some from the wide body of psychological research on the subject (and all of with the caveat that any one single of such traits isn't evidence in itself of the fear of failure - there may be other explanations).


1) Difficulty settling into mainstream activities. As above, it was certainly a significant one for me. I simply couldn't settle in any club or formalised non-curricular activity. Partly this was due to a natural rebelliousness (see below) but a core problem was I always secretly feared failure and, therefore, sought avoiding the activity. Occasionally I'd be tempting in - seeing other boys enjoying football or church-hall dramatics or chess - however it would never last. Whilst an adult, hobbies are fleeting and very soon forgotten - usually following first humiliation.

2) Rebelliousness. This could include music-based cultures - perhaps punks or (recently) emos where the "shock"' is mainly delivered through inappropriate dress. Yet it can become something more severe - perhaps indulging in misdemeanours related to the social backdrop of the sufferer. This can include becoming disruptive in class, being petty vandal, a shop-lifter, car-jack, or simply just a smoker. Bullying or, if less confident, becoming one of the bully's lieutenants is - surprisingly - another trait with the classic High-FF (anything that rejects mainstream behaviour).

3) Exam stress. This is an obvious one but even mild fear of failure may cause extreme exam stress, with High-FFs potentially taking their avoidance tactics (conscious or otherwise) to extremes. Feigning illness (or maybe experiencing the illness), anxiety attacks and in some cases deliberately sabotaging the exam are typical avoidance tactics (perhaps feigning an "I don't care" attitude).

4) "Dream fulfilment" careers. One of the most outwardly-ambitious people may, in reality, be indulging in High-FF avoidance of sensible but challenging career choices. These could include those focused on "wildest dream" career choices such as pop stardom or TV fame. Crucially, the near-impossibility of achieving the dream means they'll be kindly judged for being "a trier", and it may mask their avoidance of realistic but challenging career choices (usually involving qualifications). Watch the early episodes of the X-Factor or any other reality TV show for examples.

5) Acting the clown. This one can follow us all the way through our everyday life. High-FFs will often be the school, office or shopfloor clown - the joker which everybody likes, despite (and partly because of) their lowly status. At first glance at least, being the most popular cheeky-chappie seems to be more significant to the office clown that making progress. However, it's usually a mask hiding an inner sense of inadequacy.

6) Avoiding promotion. High-FFs can actively look to avoid promotion, even when they are the most apparent candidate. Excuses may vary (including claiming a "fear of success") but it's usually based on an inner conviction that failure and - importantly - humiliation will result. Many declare themselves happier among the troops versus the officers or show no desire to "fall out with Fred/John/Joan" who may be contesting the promotion.

7) Criticising and feuding. The High-FF's view of his or her workplace (or school, studio, college) is most likely to be a negative one. Indeed, High-FFs tend to be highly critical of how all external life is executed - sometimes publicly and vocally so. They could be part of the moaning canteen gang - perhaps its leader. And so they can direct their criticisms at particular individuals - usually those they fear. Inevitably this leads to petty rivalries that could even become full-blown and disruptive feuds. Oddly, the opposite end of the scale - over-enthusiasm - can also be a mask to cover self-perceived inadequacies.

8) Injustice convictions. This was definitely one of my major giveaways - assuming slights or insults were meant and personal, looking (and usually finding) prejudice or favouritism to others (real or otherwise), developing acute paranoia regarding the intentions of colleagues and managers. Naturally, these could develop into self-fulfilling prophesies if we are not careful, and will also can lead to a disastrous vengeful attitude. In its extreme, this leads to pilfering and absenteeism as well as other misbehaviour based on a "why shouldn't I?" mentality.

9) Poor luck. High-FFs believe they have poor luck. They are forever in the wrong place at the wrong time, especially at those crucial moments. Job interviews are blighted by late trains or random illnesses (food poisoning from a banana was one of mine). New jobs or promotions have unexpected crises or challenges visited upon them only after we arrive - all seemingly beyond our control. Of course, in reality we are searching the horizon for icebergs, and immediately manning the lifeboats, rather than giving them the wide berth the last captain quietly managed.

10) Choking. This is perhaps an apparent one but one no less harmful for that. Job interviews, presentations, key meetings - those important moments that need a powerful performance will be the very moments we lose our self-confidence and "choke". We may even develop physical traits such as shakes, or sweats, or a wobbly voice. More usually we say stupid things, forget obvious answers and come across as being a fool: the most common self-fulfilling results of High-FF behaviour, basically.